Ruined Sinner Read online

  If it moved, talked, and was female, Phin would try to fuck it. That was just who he was.

  And I was the fool who had fallen for it, thinking I was special. That I was different. God, you’re an idiot.

  “Move, or I will move you.”

  A slow, surly smile tipped his lips into a lopsided grin that, God, I wanted to bite off. Because I hated him.

  Sure you do.

  “I will be happy to see you attempt that. It might actually be really fun. Do you promise to manhandle me a little when you do it?”

  “Fuck you, Phin. You’re just never serious, are you?”

  “No, of course not. Because aren’t I a fuckboy?”

  His tone was enough to tell me that it hurt him.

  But again, I didn’t care because he was the one who’d hurt me first. So he was the one who had to bleed.

  Every now and again I could think maybe, maybe it was all a misunderstanding. Maybe we should talk. Maybe it didn’t have to hurt like this. But every time I would think that, he would do something to remind me that, oh no, in fact, everything I knew about him was the truth. The stories of the girls he hooked up with… Jesus. The time I found him this last Thanksgiving with his pants unzipped and a Croft Wells girl about to get on her knees.

  And to think, I’d thought that I cared about him.

  He grinned, but it wasn’t a friendly grin. It was a hungry one. “Yes, princess, I know what you think of me, but actually, I’m about to save your ass.”

  “My arse is perfectly fine, thank you.”

  His gaze slid down, leaving licks of heat all over my body as he slowly dragged his eyes back up. “Yes, I’m sure it is. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I overheard your mother and grandmother. You’re going to get married?”

  Shame washed over me. “You were listening to us? Fuck you, Phin.”

  He held up his hand in surrender. “Yes, I know you’d like to. But I heard you say you have a boyfriend. You and I both know you don’t.”

  “How do you know? You don’t know anything about my life.”

  “ I know you well, princess. You have no boyfriend. Which means your mother is going to get you engaged to some wannabe royal once she realizes you’re lying.”

  “Can you just get out of my way? I have a problem to solve.”

  “I’ll help you.” He blurted it out so quickly I was sure I’d misheard.

  I blinked at him. With his dark hair falling over his forehead, he looked every bit the right guy for the job. Why was he so goddamned sexy? He was the last kind of distraction that I needed right now. But here he was, like a bad penny. “Phin, I don’t have time for this.”

  “Okay, fair enough.” He backed off, hands up again. “I’m just trying to help, because I’m getting the impression your grandmother and mommy dearest have a plan for you. But those plans are not exactly what you want, are they?”

  “So? Get to the point.”

  “You created an imaginary boyfriend—which, by the way, you didn’t really think through, did you?”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly know I’d be sold off at an auction today. I’m sorry I wasn’t more prepared.”

  “Okay, okay, relax. I’m offering my services.”

  I broke into laughter. “First of all, no one would believe that. I’m known to hate you. So much.”

  “Yes, but you secretly like me, don’t you?”

  When he leaned in, with his warm breath in my ear and making me press my thighs together with a sudden pulsing ache, I wanted to slap him. Because as much as my mind hated him, my body remembered that kiss.

  And I hated remembering.

  “You did love kissing me.”

  I scoffed. “Come on. It was one kiss, Phin. I have kissed lots of boys. All better than you.”

  He lifted a brow. “Sweetheart, if I were as much of a fuckboy as you say I am, then you and I both know there would be no one better than me.”

  All I could do was swallow hard at that. I hated that he could see through me. I hated that he knew me well enough to know that I’d melt in his hands. That while I had boffed other boys, none of them even came close. That my plan to out-playboy the notorious playboy had only made me ache for him even more—had made me realize how much every other guy wasn’t him.

  And I hated that I was only eighteen and Phin had all the way ruined me for anyone else.

  Twat.

  He leaned closer now and I could smell his cologne. Cedar and spice. Like the last hints of summer and the beginnings of fall. So sexy. Drawing me in, seducing me. Making me want him and things I should not.

  His hand slid around my waist. “Come on, princess. I think you remember that you liked kissing me.”

  “Fuck you, Phineas.”

  “Yes, yes. You keep saying that, and we’ll get to that. But you know, kissing first. I love to kiss. Goddamn, it’s one of my favorite things. It’s like dancing. Learning the rhythm. I bet if you give me half the chance, I can make you come just with my kisses.”

  I couldn’t help it, I swallowed hard at the thought. I bet he could. But how did he get so good at it?

  Lots and lots of practice.

  Yes, I had to focus on that.

  Phineas tsked. “Uh-uh, Aurora, don’t do that. Focus on my voice. I know you remember kissing me. I know you liked it. When has anyone else kissed you so good?”

  I opened my mouth to argue. I really did. But he was right. And he knew it, goddamn it. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

  “Yeah, you are.” He leaned in, placing a light kiss at my temple. My body practically seized. It wasn’t my fault that I had leaned into him. It wasn’t my fault that I practically moaned as he trailed kisses along my jaw.

  “Phineas, I don’t like you.”

  “Sure. Tell me to stop.”

  I knew if I told him to stop, he would. He would back off and not kiss me again. I opened my mouth to say the words. I really did. But then he was kissing along my jaw and whispering, “All you have to do is say one word, and this ends.”

  And I just couldn’t say the words. My stupid heart jammed them all up somewhere in my chest. Because as much as I hated him, as much as he’d hurt me over the last couple of years, I still wanted Phineas Yates. I detested him, and if he was on fire, chances were I wouldn’t let anyone put him out.

  But we were so close, and I could hear that growl at the back of his throat, telling me how much he wanted me, just me. Not Princess Aurora. Not Lennox’s sister. Just me.

  I wanted to lean into it so bad.

  “I will be your boyfriend. I’ll pretend for you. Don’t you know by now I’ll do anything to have you?”

  There was a hint of something hungry in there. Something I didn’t want to think about. So I shoved it away. I pushed it so hard, sank it back down, and then stomped my feet on it, making sure that it was dead because I wasn’t going to think about him being hungry for me.

  Him wanting me.

  “Tell me to stop, Aurora, or I’m going to kiss you for real. Make me stop. Give me a reason.”

  I could feel his body. Firm. Rock hard. I knew underneath those clothes that I would find ripcord-lean abs, pecs that defied reason. And his biceps… Even though he was lean, he was wrought with muscle. I wanted to step away. I did.

  I just…

  Maybe this once I could give in and dull the ache I always felt around him. Maybe I could forget what my mother said, what my grandmother said, the fact that they tried to sell me off to the highest bidder.

  Just once.

  Once couldn’t hurt anything, right?

  And then I was tipping my face up, raising up on my tiptoes just a little, even though my heels brought me within close enough range of his lips. And then there it was again, that growl. I expected his kiss to be needy and demanding, but it was gentle and smooth. His lips were firm but soft. And it was a hint of the kiss we’d shared before. Just a tease.

  When I pulled back, his gaze was searching mine as if ask
ing for permission. My voice was a whisper when I said, “Phin.”

  And then he kissed me for real, his tongue slipping through between my lips, delving in. And all I could do was hold on for dear life. My hands slipped into his hair. He had the best hair. Soft, silky, and with the way it slipped through my fingers, I want to play with it all the time. And then I ran my nails over his scalp, and I could feel him shudder.

  I was losing myself in the kiss when I heard a gasp. “Aurora.”

  I dragged my lips from his and whipped around. “Mother.”

  “There you are. I-I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m so sorry.”

  And then I knew.

  He’d known she was around.

  I turned and glared at him. “I hate you,” I said quietly so my mother couldn’t hear.

  “Yes, I know.” There was no remorse in his voice.

  I turned back to my mother. “Mum, I can’t talk to you right now.”

  She sighed. “Please find me when you’re done with Phin. Hi, Phineas.”

  He, like the fool he was, bowed low. “Your Serene Highness.”

  I rolled my eyes, because he was laying it on thick, and my mother was eating it all up. She gave him a rare smile. “Well, Aurora, I just wish you’d told me this boyfriend was someone in the Yates family.”

  Oh, fuck everything. Phin included.

  “I’ll be right there, Mum.”

  When she was gone around the corner, I whirled to face him. “You did that on purpose.”

  He shrugged. “You needed a boyfriend. One that your mother would believe.”

  “I could kill you.”

  He tsked. “Easy now, princess. You needed a boyfriend, and I gave you one. And now you don’t have to get married.”

  “But now my mother thinks I have a boyfriend. You.”

  “Yes, we don’t have that much left of senior year, so I’ll be your fake boyfriend until graduation. We’ll pretend—or we don’t have to pretend. We could do it for real.”

  My eyes went wide. “What?”

  “Well, we need to make everyone believe it, of course, because the last thing we need is someone blabbing to your mother that you’re not actually dating me, and then she’s going to make you get married.”

  Heat washed over my entire body. “You tricked me.”

  “No, I did not. I even told you to tell me to stop if you didn’t want to kiss me.”

  “Yes, but you were leaning in and being sexy.”

  He grinned that lopsided grin that I loved and then hated, and then loved, and then hated.

  “So you think I’m sexy?”

  “Ooohh… ” I reached for him, and he caught my hands in both of his big ones. He moved faster than I would have thought. And if I’d actually wanted to hurt him, it would have been easy to knee his groin, use my palms and bring them down over his ears hard, and he would have fallen. Just like how Sloane had taught me. But I’d aimed to just hit him with an open-handed slap. What nonsense was that? I knew better. I knew how to hit. I knew how to defend myself. And I knew how to use knives. Oh, I could use a knife on him right now.

  He held my wrist in one of his big hands, and then he traced a thumb over my cheek. “Easy does it, princess. You haven’t even heard the whole deal yet.”

  I tried to ignore the electric warmth his touch left behind on my cheek. “There’s more than you tricking me into pretending to date you?”

  “Obviously.” Something dark and possessive glittered in his gaze. “Because what am I going to get out of this scheme I’m helping you with?”

  A host of swear words—some in English and some in German—rushed to mind, but I was frozen by that look in his eyes. “Are you talking about payment? Payment for this ruse I don’t even want?”

  “Yes,” he said silkily. “I’m talking about payment. And you can stop pretending you’re not at least intrigued by this ruse—and by what I might want.”

  His tone left no question as to what that might be. My pulse thudded everywhere, making my breasts heavy and my core hot. I licked my lips, tasting him, and his eyes darkened even more.

  “I see you’ve already guessed,” he said. “I’ll be your fake boyfriend, Aurora. If we fuck around for real.”

  The moment he said fuck around, my whole body clenched. And not in a provoked way, but in an oh-shag-me-and-mean-it way.

  What was wrong with me? “I am not hooking up with you.”

  He shrugged. “Okay. Then I’m not your fake boyfriend. Good luck finding someone else. I mean, you could, obviously. But to convince them to be your fake boyfriend for the number of months that you’re going to need to convince your mother? It could take a lot of time to find someone willing to do that.”

  I glowered at him.

  “And she has already seen us. So if you break up with me and get another fake boyfriend, she’s going to just be like, ‘Why can’t you date this perfectly reasonable guy in front of you?’ Or worse, she’ll suspect you were lying all along.”

  “It’s not happening.”

  “Those are my terms. Obviously, it’s your choice. But I think you like it when I kiss you. I think you like the idea of hooking up with me.”

  I swallowed hard, giving myself away.

  “See?”

  “I’m not having sex with you.”

  He slanted me a look. “There’s a lot more to hooking up than having penetrative sex.”

  My voice was small. “Maybe I can’t have sex with you.”

  There was an understanding to his look—an understanding that didn’t feel laced with pity or any other gross thing I didn’t want. “Like I said, screwing is not what this is about. I’ll do you a favor by being your fake boyfriend, and then we get off for real. Take it or leave it.”

  He was right. It was either come clean or occasionally hook up with him. Which wasn’t awful. And who was I kidding? A part of me wanted it. Because somehow when I’d kissed Phin just now, I’d felt like the real me. The me from Christmas break was a distant memory. Under his lips, I felt like the me who wasn’t scared, who didn’t jump at shadows, who didn’t avoid being touched. I felt like the me who was light and free. Phin did that for me, and I wanted more of it. Because I’d been trying to find that old me for a couple of months now. Most of the time, she remained buried under a cloud of shadow. For some reason, Phin brought her out into the sunlight.

  I needed the sunlight, so I was going to take it. And I was getting something out of it too.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m serious. No intercourse, Phin.”

  “I’m serious too. I don’t even want to have sex with you.”

  I scowled at him. “Bullshit.”

  He laughed, low and rough, lighting new fires all over my skin. “Absolutely bullshit, but when we do have sex, Aurora, it’s going to be because you want to and not because I’m your fake boyfriend. But in the meantime, there’s a lot of other stuff on the table.”

  “Fine. I agree.”

  And I was going to try not to fantasize too hard about what might be waiting on that metaphorical table of his.

  Chapter Five

  Phin

  Aurora’s hard little nipples jutting up toward me…

  Her stomach quivering as I slowly worked my way inside…

  Her golden eyes shining up at me as she came around my dick…

  I came against the shower wall with a hoarse breath, my hand working my cock and my eyes squeezed shut as I imagined fucking Aurora’s snug cunt instead of my own fist. I’d been jerking off thinking of her for years, but ever since the engagement party yesterday, I’d been practically clawing the walls with the need to touch her, feel her, taste her. I’d even had to jerk off in the family car this morning as it drove me back to Pembroke Prep. The dark, sound-proof partition had been up between me and the driver, but still, it had been a new low.

  But that’s what Aurora Lincoln-Ward was to me, if I thought about it. Low after low after low. For years.

  Years of wanting, of infatua
tion…of a need so base and filthy that I sometimes didn’t know if I could hold it all inside of myself. And now I had her, as much as I’d ever have her, and I planned on making it count. On making it worth the years I’d waited, the years she’d ripped my heart out of my chest over and over again.

  All because of one fucking mistake.

  I let go of myself and watched as the water washed my orgasm down the drain. I was tired of coming in the shower, in the car, alone in bed. I was tired of wanting her so goddamn much.

  It wasn’t me. I was casual, I was easy. I was always there with a smile and a drink. But when it came to a certain midnight-haired princess, I was anything but casual, anything but smiling.

  I was obsessed.

  I finished showering and had just dried off and dressed when my phone buzzed on my bed.

  Aurora: Meet me in the library.

  A slow, dangerous heat curled in my chest. It was time to set our little deal in motion.

  Me: Be right there.

  * * *

  When I got to the library, I yanked the doors open. A librarian glanced up and gave me a thin smile.

  She was probably noting how I had not a single book bag or book with me. So obviously, I wasn’t there to study. I was there for trouble. Whatever. I didn’t care what she thought.

  In the back corner of the stacks, I reached the unofficial Pembroke make-out spot as identified by Iris and Keaton earlier this year. I found my new plaything leaning against one of the stacks reading.

  Ah, The Three Musketeers. I wondered what she had on her mind as she read about D’Artagnan and Milady.

  Seduction?

  Or revenge?

  “Princess,” I greeted.

  She looked up at me, gold eyes flashing with some hot emotion. Probably anger, but I saw the desire there too as she took in my rain-dotted face, my perfectly tailored pea-coat and the way it hung open over my thin sweater and designer jeans.

  “Phin,” she said in that husky accent of hers, trying to sound short with me, but the wavering in her voice gave her away. Christ, she was sexy like this, with the struggle between fury and desire heating her eyes and fluttering her long lashes. Pink bloomed on her ethereally high cheekbones, and she kept pulling her lower lip into her mouth and then releasing it. The rain had smeared her eyeliner a little, and between the smudged make-up and the way she was shifting where she sat, like her clit was begging for friction, she looked like she’d just spent the last hour with my hand in her panties.